It was way too early on a beautiful Saturday morning when the Cadre woke us up.

It would appear as though I wasn’t the only grumpy person this morning!  The entire cadre seemed a little cranky, the entire Company of soldiers less than chipper, each or my ragtag group peers standing outside wondering what just happened!

“Bravo Company, a Health and Welfare Inspection has been initiated,” the First Sergeant began.  “We will be looking for any form of weapons, drugs, alcohol, food substance , or other paraphernalia that should NOT be in your rooms, whether legal or illegal.  When dismissed, you need to go directly to your rooms, prop open the door, open your wall lockers, and stand at the position of parade rest at the end of your bunks!  Drill Sergeants will be going through your belongings one room at a time.  The first person in each room who recognizes the Drill Sergeant entering the room will call the room to attention and follow their direction accordingly.  If your possessions are found to be within regulations, you will be released for weekend.  If you are found to be in possession of something out of regs, disciplinary actions will ensue.  Are there any questions? … No?  Great! Company, attention!  Dis-missed!!”

At that, we scurried back to our rooms, propped open doors, and proceeded to wait.  I knew I was in trouble from the start.  I had a box of hot chocolate in my wall locker, which qualified as a “food substance”.  It was one of those variety packs that were individually wrapped they were quite enjoyable during those cool fall evenings.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t much place for the box to be hidden.  It was on the top shelf, in the back corner, behind shampoo and shaving cream, right next to a mug setting in plain view.  So all I really could do was to stand there and wait, with the din at the other end of the hall, slowly growing closer, and closer.

Then it happened, “Good morning Proctor!”

“Room, attention!” I called.  “Good morning Drill Sergeant!”

“At ease Proctor!  Are you hiding anything from me?”

How was I really supposed to respond to a question like that?  “Why yes Drill Sergeant, I’ve got an illicit box of Swiss Miss in my locker.  It’s on the top shelf, right behind the Pert!” 

Uh, no …

“No Drill Sergeant, I am not!”

“Are you lying to me Proctor?  If you’re hiding something, you know I’ll find it!”

“I’m sure you would Drill Sergeant!”

Sergeant Talbert began the search.  He started with my shoes and glanced under the bed.  He then went through the desk before heading to the wall locker.  My stress level rose ever so slightly as he went through the drawers holding socks, shirts, and shorts.  He moved to the hangars, both military and civilian clothes.  Then the shelf.  Drill Sergeant Talbert rose to his toes for a glance, returned to his feet, then spun turned towards my direction.  I braced for impact as I was about to learn my fate ….

“You’re good to go Proctor!  Secure your locker and enjoy your weekend!” 

Excuse me?  Good to go?

“Roger that Drill Sergeant!”  I was closing the doors about the time he was leaving the room, but I was stopped before I could get it locked.

I turned to find Drill Sergeant Sullivan standing in the door.  Sullivan was a lot bigger, standing about six foot tall, cresting 200 pounds.  He looked and carried himself like someone would think a Drill Sergeant should!

“Drill Sergeant!  Drill Sergeant Talbert has inspected my room and said I was good to go!”

Sullivan paused for a moment and we caught eyes, waiting to see who would flinch first.  He took a step back, and leaned out the door, still glaring in my general direction.

“Drill Sergeant Talbert!” he yelled.

“Wassup Drill Sergeant?”

“Did you get Proctor?”

“Yep, sure did.  He’s good to go!”

At that, Drill Sergeant Sullivan shifted his weight back into my room, still holding his gaze.

“You’re lucky Proctor, you know I would have found something!” 

“Roger that Drill Sergeant!”  He then turned and headed off to the next room, not realizing how lucky I really was!